missing sickness

Fell head deep into the monstrous hole filled with cheap licks and thrills
Forgive me father for I have laid in the bed I have made
it has two broken boards and pillows stuffed with hay 
but lets me languor to prepare for the following days

anxiety created itches and twitches’
a coward hidden under wolf skin 
a fraudulent of a cosmic speculation 
an allegory of a natural phenomenon 

I’m nothing
not the dirt under long nails
or the loose strands of hair 
not the tears in a handkerchief 
or a crack in ceramic 

there is pitty
there is spite
fear of loosing teeth
fear of loosing myself

                                    I never found a place

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